Lead me, guide me, help me God.

Hello to the ones who read this! I am feeling a bit overwhelmed on a few things--I have some life stories to tell :)

My grama had this dream. In it I was asking her for water by the sink while she was washing dishes. "Here you go, Amber." she said and then handed me a cup. Then I guess she woke up.
  The thing is, my mom wasn't even pregnant with me at the time my grama had her dream. I was not even thought of. And my grama recieved a dream of me.
  I guess sometime later, my mom felt horibly sick. "Could this be Amber!?" my grama asked her.
  "Mom! I am not pregnant." See, before, she had planned on naming her next daughter "Amber", so she knew what grama was getting at. Well lo and behold my mom was pregnant.
  "Amber's on the way!" grama told everyone. Not one soul thought she was sane! "Mom, how do you even know its a girl?" her children asked. Her response? "God gave me a dream about her." She was SO sure that I was a girl and that I would be Amber.
  Well still., everyone thought this suposedly wise woman was crazy or something. The time came for me to be born. You {obviously} guessed it. "It's a girl!"
  Anyway, they called with the news - "Amber is here!" they said semi-sarcastically. Yup--grammy had a dream of me even before I was born.

  I was brought to the earth on December 27, 1993. I know I wasn't a planned child. But the thing is, I was a planned child. In fact, we all were. God had plans before were even thought of.

I guess, I am saying that I know God has a purpose for me. And no way can it be a life of mediocrity and lukewarm lifestyle. No, that's not it at all. I don't want to settle and die here like Abraham's dad did in Canan. But I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing. Like I am going half way and just settling.

I often pray that I'll be used to change lives--to change the world--to make a difference. It's like God is revealing to me what I am to do but I am so scared I can barely think straight anymore (not that I could before).

Yes, I know I have beautiful gifts in which the Lord specifically put in me that He wants to use. It happens to be the scariest thing I could ever undertake.

He brought me to this world for a certain purpose. Both of us. You and you. Us. We have a planned out life that God wants for us - I can only do this with God's help.